I must tell you about my shopping day today … it was an hilarious mixed bag but I stayed positive!
First off I dropped some containers off to Delys so she can send Duncan to the kennels with his raw food when they go away (they are going away next weekend too – so we usually look after each others dogs, hence my boys going to the kennels and Chelz going to stay at Aunty Nikki and Uncle Daves …
Anyway, I better get on with this story. I go off wearing the wig as I decided I need to look for these clothes to get the look so to speak. Im hooning along (its raining) and just out of Pukehina there are flashing lights behind me … I think “ooh there must be an accident somewhere, so I pull over to let him pass”. Alas he pulls over too …. I think shit shit shit … He trots along and say “morning mam, is there any reason you were going 114 k” – I go “really … sorry sir I was listening to my music and had no idea it had crept up, I have no excuse, I was just being slack”. He smiled and asked me for my drivers licence. I handed it to him and he did a double take. I realised and said “oh, this maybe better” and took off the wig. He laughed. So did I. He asked me my address, then occupation. When I said Animal Control Officer he said “well you will know all about infringement notices wont you”. “yep I said”. He said he will be back in a minute.
Meanwhile Im thinking – I wish he’d turn his flippin flashing lights off … but he didnt. He came back awhile later and handed me the $80 fine. He told me I have 28 days to pay it. Oki doki I said. He then said “whats with the wig”. So I told him about the suprise party and Im off to Bayfair to get the rest of the outfit and that I thought it best if I wore the wig so that I wouldnt second guess what I would look like. He was in hysterics. He said he appreciated my honesty and I said “well, I was speeding so no use trying to squirm out of it”. He wished me a good day and i sped off! Laugh!
I get to Bayfair and this little jewel shop sorted out a necklace for me to match the peace sign I had bought on trademe. Then I went to Cotton on and bought a purple top and a fur sleeveless vest. The sales person was young so probably thought I shouldnt be in there. Anyway, I looked in the mirror and thought “shit your fat these days girl”.
Went onto other stores and gulped at the prices – you got to remember I dont go clothes shopping – its a foreign word for me these days. However, I did like what I saw out there. Anyway, someone tried to get me to do a spinal assessment inthe middle of the walkway – I told her that thats a no go … I got back trouble and my osteo is the only one that touches me thank you very much!
Got to Just Jeans and this friendly sales assistant asked if I need any help. She had the x factor so I told her what I was doing. she immediately took me to the bargain bin and we both took out three items. She asked what I had bought from the other stores, so she then said ok, lets see what this does with this. It was hilarious, then I whip off the wig and she nearly fell on the floor. Hoots of laughter from both of us. I told her I need a headband and I had an idea, so I ran across to a fake jewell store and bought this headband jewell thing – that was being used on a dummy as a belt. And we arranged it on my head. She then said that at one stage Cher wore these big glasses – I said – nah I dont know about that. anyway, she ran out of the shop and came back with these big glasses and I put them on – fantastic!
She then got some other customers and asked them who I was supposed to be and all but one said Cher. So, even though I think I dont look anything like her other people did. I announced “Greetings peoples this is the fat Cher” Everyone just fell over in hysterics.
I paid the pingers then went and had a coffee … then realised I had left my phone in the store. So I ran back and here it was on the floor next to the leather jackets – which I liked too but they were far too much.
I had chicken tikka for lunch.
Then when I went back to the ute there was this open deck ute parked next to me and as I went to the drivers door a dog came flying out at me. I whacked it on the head – just like that! This guy who was waiting for my park got out of his car ran across and said are you ok lady! I said “cool man – its just a angry dude”. I wrote a note to the dog owner and told him to get his shit together with regard to his dog jumping at people.
So that was my day … a little expensive but I have not done that for a long time. I also bought a book in the bargain bin at Whitcoulls about a donkey in the war. Thought Id share that useless bit of information with you.
Have a great week everyone – its raining here and we need it …
Oh and I forgot to reveal my toilet experience at Bayfair … for those who know me well I have this tendancy to leave it to the last minute … I need to do number twos … so I go in search of the toilets. Find them ok. But I just ran into the nearest one. Do the business then realise no toilet paper … I start laughing … thinking how the hell am I going to get out of this shit hole. Then – tah dah I remember I always carry tissues. So I was saved by my own preparedness !
Moral of the story – always carry tissues with you and always check the toilet paper before you go in there and dont leave it till you are desparate to make you not think of the above!
For some reason I woke up today with a whole lot of flys in the house … I just couldnt believe it … and of course no fly spray. So I went down to the local service station and gulped when they were selling it for $8.10. Of course the supermarket was closed – typical … so I went to the four sqaure and the same fly spray was selling there for $3.10. WHATS WITH THAT! 
I get home from work and this is what I discover … Schultz had obviously had a good time destroying his duvet and inner … Tana was hiding in his kennel looking guilty for nothing as there is no way he did that … anyway, obviously the Brown Boy does not like luxury so Ive given him his mat back! What cracked me up more was the fact that he still greeted me with a smile … a real character this one!